Oral sex is ‘late night snacking’ and ‘longevity therapy’ - Billionaire biohacker

Tech entrepreneur and longevity enthusiast Bryan Johnson has once again turned an intimate subject into a public experiment, joking that oral sex could count as a form of “late-night snacking”.

Johnson, known for his obsessive approach to ageing, nutrition and biological optimisation, sparked another wave of online reactions after responding to an X user who claimed that performing oral sex could provide a dose of Lactobacilli bacteria for gut health.

The user, Mateo, posted: “Eating p—- not for her pleasure, but for an ample serving of Lactobacilli bacteria to improve my gut health”.

Johnson replied with the punchline: “When late night snacking becomes a longevity therapy.”

The joke quickly gained traction because of Johnson’s famously rigid eating schedule. The 48-year-old biohacker has previously documented a tightly controlled daily routine and has said he stops eating in the late afternoon as part of his broader longevity protocol.

So, naturally, the internet found an opening: if Johnson does not eat after roughly 4pm or 5pm, perhaps his latest comments have uncovered an unconventional loophole.

From bedtime confession to microbiome data

The latest joke follows an earlier post that left little to the imagination.

Johnson told his millions of followers: “Just gave Kate oral sex. Goodnight everyone.”

The post was followed almost immediately by something considerably more clinical — a screenshot of what he said was his girlfriend Kate Tolo’s vaginal microbiome report.

Johnson declared that the test had produced a “100/100 score”, describing Tolo as having a vagina in the “top 1% of the world.” He said her sample was 98.7% dominated by Lactobacillus crispatus, a species associated with a healthy vaginal microbiome.

Biohacker Bryan Johnson reveals why he's never slept with his longterm girlfriend — who he boasted is in 'top 1% of all vaginas'

Johnson's original post is still publicly available, where he described L. crispatus as “the single most protective bacterial species a vagina can host.”

The disclosure was not a one-off curiosity. Johnson has increasingly incorporated sexual and reproductive health into his wider longevity project. In a later account of Tolo's health programme, he described an extensive regime involving dozens of measurements and tests, including regular vaginal microbiome sampling.

The posts have helped cement Johnson's reputation for treating virtually every aspect of the human body as something that can be measured, monitored and optimised.

But does the science support the ‘snacking’ theory?

This is where the joke runs ahead of the evidence.

There is legitimate science behind the importance of Lactobacillus in vaginal health. Research has found that vaginal communities dominated by L. crispatus are generally associated with healthier vaginal environments and lower levels of some reproductive and sexually transmitted infections.

That does not, however, establish oral sex as an effective probiotic treatment for the gut.

The human microbiome is not one interchangeable bacterial reservoir. The vagina, mouth and gastrointestinal tract contain different microbial communities, and the mere presence of a bacterium in one location does not mean consuming it will successfully establish or improve the same organism elsewhere.

Indeed, even research examining deliberately administered oral Lactobacillus probiotics has produced mixed results. One longitudinal study of 16 women found that orally consumed lactobacilli produced no detectable change in the vaginal microbiome attributable to the probiotic treatment.

There is also no established evidence that ingesting vaginal Lactobacillus through sexual activity is a longevity intervention.

In other words, Johnson's “late night snacking” line works considerably better as internet comedy than as a medical prescription.

Johnson’s unusual brand of longevity

The episode fits neatly into Johnson's broader philosophy.

The former tech executive has built a global following by publicly tracking everything from sleep and blood markers to exercise, diet and reproductive health. His longevity project has become a kind of quantified-self experiment, with the ultimate goal of slowing or reversing aspects of biological ageing.

His willingness to discuss sex with the same analytical language he uses for glucose, sleep and biomarkers has become part of the spectacle.

His earlier post about Tolo's microbiome was widely reported after it attracted millions of views, with Johnson presenting intimate biological information almost like a performance dashboard.

And that may be the real reason the latest joke landed so hard.

For Johnson, there appears to be little boundary between the bedroom and the laboratory. For the internet, meanwhile, the idea of turning a late-night sexual encounter into a “longevity therapy” was simply too good a punchline to ignore.

The science may still have a long way to go before oral sex can legitimately be added to a longevity protocol.

The memes, however, are already fully optimised.